Friday, April 15, 2011

kaileigh vs the cockroach: the best battle story you'll ever hear.

so here is a story about my terrible, awful, no good battle last night...brace yourselves.

at about 945 last night i got home from my friend jakes house. i was so tired, had a headache, and overall I just felt really awful. I set down my keys, went into my room, set down my purse, plugged my phone into charge, and made my way to the bathroom where I planned on taking a nice, steaming, hot shower. I turned the light switch on and holy camolee what in the world crawled across the floor and up the cabinet but a huge, terrible, ugly, disgusting.........cockroach !!!!!!!

oh my gosh. I freaked out. I screamed and ran into my room and jumped onto my bed and was almost in tears. the only place I have ever seen a cockroach was in a zoo. that is the only place I wished they lived.
ughhhhh what is their purpose in life? sick!! sick!! sick!!

anyways, back to the story. so I see the three inch long thing and its freakishly gross tentacles or antennae (whatever it was coming off its head) and instantly scream, start hyperventilating, and then run to my bedroom, jump onto my bed, and grab my phone that I could barely hold in my hand because I was shaking so bad, and i tried to call someone. i obviously tried to call a boy (sorry aunt skye but I don't know any girls who could think legitimately and logically through this) and so I thought to call either my friend jordan or my friend jake. i remembered that, so lamely, jordan was at work so he couldnt come kill it, so I called my super good friend jake and was basically in tears when he answered. he probably thought j was being robbed. sorry jake!

after i took some deep breaths he finally understood what i was saying and tried to tell me how to kill it. this whole catastrophe took thirty-five minutes. so disgusting. you see what I would do was inch closer and closer to it to try to kill it but everytime I'd get closer to it I'd run away and start shaking even worse. poor jake had to deal with me screaming, hyperventilating, basically being in tears, and also some dry heaving (sorry if that's too much info but it gives you a better perspective of the situation) but I absolutely love him for being there through all that.

finally I got a spatula (that I obviously planned on not using anymore) and I took the spatula and I tried to knock that stupid gross bug out from under the cabinet. I finally did after about 3748393:$2&2 (yes....that's a number) times. it crawled all over the floor and into the bathtub and I screamed so loud. and I was shaking so bad that i think I was convulsing, no joke. :( I yelled "oh my gosh I'm gonna drown him!!!" so I did. i turned the water on in the tub and he stopped moving. however, even though he was dead, I was still freaking out. it was just so awful you know?! I threw a washcloth (once again it was one I knew I'd throw away and never use again) over that dead thing and then I found a pair of shoes I hated and it took me about five minutes and a whole lot more hyperventilating to bring myself to step on it. I mean, I didnt want to hear or feel that! would you?! SO GROSS! but I finally did squish it and had tears in my eyes when I did because I was just SO shaken up. then I got out of the bathtub and then it took me another five minutes and almost throwing up again until i could get the whole washcloth into the trash bag without touching it. (this is where the spatula helped me) cockroach pancake? ughhh. ew ew ew I'm still getting the chills thinking about it.

after this, I went outside (keep in mind that my friend is still on the phone) and I threw all of those things away; the spatula, washcloth, and trash bag. then I lysoled my entire bathroom floor, countertop, inside and outside of the cabinets, and the everybinch of that shower. I said thank you to jake, hung up the phone, and ran to my bed and just sat there trying to breathe. i have nor had that bad of an anxiety attack in a long time.

after i calmed down a little bit I called my best friend jaemi and told her everything. then I got in the shower, came back to my room, texted jake to thank him once again, and do you know what he did? he ordered me a pizza and a diet pepsi and had it delivered to my house. sweetest, nicest friend ever. no one has ever done anything like that for me before and so I was so appreciative and happy that I have a friend in Arizona like him!

so to end this story I would like to just give a big thank you to jacob. also, thank you alex for being on the phone with jake and giving me good ideas to kill that treacherous, nasty, life form. also thank you jaemi for listening to me tell the tale of "kaileigh vs the cockroach." you all are very kind friends.



  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. jesus.... _ Jerm.

  3. Kaileigh you are the best big sis eva!!(i said that because Mckenna doesn't even know about this) I wish I was there..... not to kill the cockroach, but just to see you scream and hyperventalaate!!! love you lots:))

  4. oh my gosh kail, i LOL'd soooo hard "oh my gosh im gonna drown him!!!" -- sooo stinking sad but funny.. i have the huuuuugest fear of ANY BUGS. ants, spiders,beetles...anything.. I COULDNT IMAGINE LA CUCARACHA!!! &omg what a nice guy for the pizza.... :] glad thats how it all ended! and that you survived ma!! <3 xoxo muah!

  5. :) I am sooooo excitedi lived ! haha you're so funny kaitlyn :) are you following my blog yet??


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